Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
