Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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