It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
