two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
