I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I still have a little drunk in my system
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
