so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
