C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Randomize