dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
