quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
