with your own penis?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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