Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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