vagina is talking i cant
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
