I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
