How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize
