I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Randomize
