What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize