Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
You may now shotgun with the bride
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize