does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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