I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize