This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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