the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
