it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
