Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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