We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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