My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
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