I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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