put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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