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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.

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• (561): View more from Florida

  hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?

  (407): View more from Florida

  i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery

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• (979): View more from Texas

  What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..

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• (716): View more from New York

  just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night

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• (289): View more from Ontario

  you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms

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• (562): View more from California

  Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested

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• (607): View more from New York

  Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.

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