It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
