Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
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