There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Randomize
