Moan for me like Helen Keller
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Randomize
