THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
third nipple confirmed
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
