My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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