Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
