I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
