Don't make out with my wife yet
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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