Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize