kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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