Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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