Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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