I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
no you cant smoke seaweed
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Randomize
