just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
