Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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