you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Randomize
