During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
