she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
