you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
