Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
