I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
