Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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