i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize