ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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