I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
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