Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
