You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
