When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
