I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
