It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
