So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
honey bunches of taint.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
