I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
